ext_4237 ([identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_sabik_/) wrote in [personal profile] teffania 2009-05-18 03:17 pm (UTC)

A few comments... not sure whether they'd make it better or worse, but I guess consider them...

* unpaid -> volunteer (probably sounds better)

* Seems to hesitate between "society" and "organisation", even within one sentence ("... organisations with small operating budgets ... bankrupt the society").

* 2000 items is rather a small database, and (if I'm placing it correctly) the consequences of fault or outage are minimal; perhaps emphasize it more as a learning opportunity taken rather than an achievement in itself?

* The text seems relatively long for what it's saying. Knowledge of basic SQL is buried at the end of a fourth paragraph where nobody will see it.


Finally, if there's a business analyst who knows you and knows you can do a job like this, I suspect the more effective way would be to directly get you one :-)

η

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